


what if tomorrow comes to break the dawn

by cordays



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Darillium (Doctor Who), F/M, Post-Episode: 2015 Xmas The Husbands of River Song, and it's been done but i don't care, not really sure where I'm going with this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-03
Updated: 2020-08-03
Packaged: 2021-03-05 20:48:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,024
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25691572
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cordays/pseuds/cordays
Summary: "First off, Wife, I am not proving a point nor am I settling down and unless it's escaped your notice, I am not alone. I have you. Bowtie was a rubbish husband, don't argue-" He cuts her off before she can even try and defend his former self. "-he was clueless. You're waiting for me to leave only proves that but I'm not going anywhere. Turns out I'm a tad sentimental this go around and if it's alright with you, I'd like to spend the night-however long it may be-with my wife."
Relationships: The Doctor/River Song, Twelfth Doctor/River Song
Comments: 2
Kudos: 61





	what if tomorrow comes to break the dawn

**Author's Note:**

> Title from Starkid's "Black Friday"

Twenty-four years of linear time together. They've never had that before. And she had struggled, at first, to accept that this was real. That he wasn't going to flit away for an adventure and return days or months or years later than he had intended. She wouldn't have faulted him if he had, nor would she have held him to his word. River knew her husband. And she knew what she signed up for all those years ago in a universe that no longer existed. The version of him that married her, he wasn't so easily appeased. Sitting still had never been something he excelled at but as his eleventh self, he lacked the patience to really try. This time, he surprised her.

He's content to sit with her head in his lap, wrapping her curls in his hand as they both read. Or lie in bed for hours while she slept and hours after she wakes. It takes her longer than she would care to admit to realise that he's not even thought about leaving. She brought it up once, in the late hours of what was an evening on Darillium.

"You're still here."

He doesn't even look up from the chess board in front of him. This face is awfully good at the irritated old man look as he grouses about how his next move would surely thwart his own attempt at a checkmate.

"I'm winning, River."

Of course he's winning. He's playing against himself.

River stands in the doorway of their sitting room, crossing her arms beneath her breasts, grasping at the fabric of her sweater just above her ribs as she watches him make his next move before spinning the board around to counterattack. He doesn't see her frown, but her continued silence clues him in to her upset and he abandons his game promptly, turning his whole body to face her. "You mean here, here. Not... here."

Her jaw crooks, tongue pushing at the inside of her cheek as she eyes him from across the room. And then she shrugs. It's meant to be a casual gesture but she avoids looking him in the eye in favour of picking at a loose thread in her sleeve. She's not the self-conscious type unless she's around him. And most times she can pretend otherwise but tonight she feels particularly exposed. And not in the good way.

"River..."

"It's been weeks." Months, actually. But saying so makes their time together seem longer than River's prepared to draw attention to. As if he wouldn't know just how long they've been here. Still, she doesn't meet his eye. "I know you said we would have the night, but I know you, sweetie."

"River-"

He interrupts but she keeps talking. He'll try and placate her but she needs to get this off her chest. It's his fault. Confessing on the Harmony when she didn't know he was right beside her had opened the flood gates and the past few months hasn't helped wrangle her self-control.

"No, it's okay my love. If you're staying just to prove a point - you don't need to. I'm a big girl. I understand. You're not meant to settle down. Did you think I hadn't heard about your 'retirement'? You spent years hiding from the universe, Doctor. After Manhattan... after I left... I told you not to travel alone and you stopped travelling all together."

During her studies for her doctorate, she had read about the time the Doctor locked himself away in his TARDIS where nothing and no one could reach him. And not too long ago, for her, she had received a letter from Vastra detailing her concern. But while the Doctor had hidden, River had run. It was never her intention to leave him like that for long. As it turned out, he hadn't needed her intervention.

And she was glad.

"I know you think I doubt your love for me," she shakes her head as he makes a disgruntled noise, her voice rising an octave in response as she finally deigns to meet his eye, and she nearly flinches at the burning stare he's fixated on her. "-but I don't need validation."

They stare at each other for some time, long enough for her hands to start fidgeting and her head to bow so that her wayward curls fall to frame her face. "River." He says her name again and she sighs, looking up to see him holding out his hand. "Come here." It's not a request, and she wrestles with the urge to refuse out of sheer stubborn principle but, as always, she gives in to him. She approaches on bare feet and takes his hand, expelling a breath as he tugs her towards him and there's no where else for her to sit but on his lap. Entirely of their own volition, her arms wind around his neck and she settles against the arm of his chair as he brushes the curls from her eyes and behind her ear.

"Doctor-"

"Ah." He holds up a finger and she huffs a breath, rolling her eyes at his expression. "My turn, I think." He taps her on the nose and despite the subject of conversation, she is unable to prevent the fond smile from touching her lips.

"First off, Wife, I am not proving a point nor am I settling down and unless it's escaped your notice, I am not alone. I have you. Bowtie was a rubbish husband, don't argue-" He cuts her off before she can even try and defend his former self. "-he was clueless. You're waiting for me to leave only proves that but I'm not going anywhere. Turns out I'm a tad sentimental this go around and if it's alright with you, I'd like to spend the night-however long it may be-with my wife."

He is insistent and determined and she can see that in the way he allows her to curl in on him, tucking her legs up and resting her head on his shoulder. He had told her that he wasn't big on touching in this body but he seems to touch her more than ever, and he seems content to let her touch him. River reluctantly drops her concerns, nodding her head as she eyes his chessboard. Leaning away from him, she moves the white knight and declares checkmate.

The Doctor swears under his breath as he tightens his hold on her, pressing a kiss to her temple as he allows her to stand.

"Bloody menace."

Neither of them forget the conversation that evening but the events following were distraction enough to table it for the time being.

It's a year or so in to the night that she finds herself revisiting the stories. As a student, she had tried to avoid as much of her own personal future as she could to prevent the dangers of foreknowledge. But she had stumbled across Darillium not long after her release from Stormcage. As a newly appointed Professor, just before Manhattan, River had found a legend about her husband that she hadn't read before. That should have been warning enough. According to the stories, the last night the Doctor and his wife spent together would be on Darillium. When she had read that, suddenly all the diversions and broken promises made sense. If it were true, and she had no reason to believe otherwise, then of course he would avoid taking her there.

Years pass before she's faced with the Singing Towers and she had felt, in that moment as they prepared to crash land, as if this was the end. There had been other things to distract her at the time but she would be lying if she said she hadn't thought about those stories. About the truth of their night together. And she had confronted him on that balcony as they heard the towers sing for the first time of many.

This is why she avoided spoilers.

Now, she thinks about those stories as she watches the nearly set sun.

What will happen after this?

What comes next?

She doesn't want to dwell but it's hard not to consider what the future may hold. River had told her father once, when he didn't know he was her father but she had felt the need to confide in him regardless, that she thought her end would come on the day the Doctor failed to recognise her.

Was that day coming?

How soon?

Her diary sits unopened in her lap, her thumb brushing over the worn blue cover, nail catching on the detailed panels. There's only one page left and it's still blank. She can't bring herself to write in it now and likely won't until he's left her on Luna while he flies away and doesn't look back.

How will she condense twenty-four years in to less than a thousand words?

How will she write about any of it at all?

"Don't."

River startled at the Doctor's voice, arching her back to look over her shoulder where she spies him standing in almost the exact same place she had been all those not-nights ago. "Sweetie?" The Doctor doesn't linger like she had. He moves to take his place at her side, dropping his hand to her bare calf. He presses his thumb in to the crease of her knee and her breath hitches.

"Don't write about it, River."

She furrows her brow as her focus is caught between the movement of his hand and the sound of his voice. She hadn't realised that she had spoken aloud earlier, her musings spilling from her tongue entirely without her consent. That he had heard her is of little concern. He's certainly heard her think worse. There must be a question in her eyes because he stills his hand and reaches out with the other to tap at her diary.

"There's a reason you wrote it all down. You kept track of everything but you don't need to keep track of this. This night is ours, River."

River takes his hand in hers, absentmindedly toying with the ring he wore proudly. She wore her own on a chain around her neck, nestled between her breasts as she traversed through time and space. It wouldn't do for a younger version of him to see it. Assuming she was his wife was one thing. Confirming it was another. She wears her ring now, just like he wears his, and it's enough to bolster her nerves.

"This is it, isn't it. Whatever comes after this... there's nothing left but the end."

She's expecting spoilers. She's expecting him to deflect or deviate, but he surprises her by nodding. River looks at him and she sees how difficult it must have been for him to do that, to give her this truth because it's all he can give her now. She suspects it will hurt more when it comes but now she just feels resigned.

"That's why you won't leave."

It's the first time she's brought up the conversation and she watches as he clenches his jaw, grits his teeth, before sighing. She doesn't need him to confirm her suspicions before she's crawling in to his lap, straddling his thighs with her diary in one hand and the other trailing down his chest to curl around his hip. "Do you want to read it?"

His brows, terrifying as they are, rise in intrigue and she smiles at the eager shift of his body, causing her own to rise in response. There's nothing to do now but to accept the inevitable and River doesn't want to spend the next twenty-three years dreading what will come when it's over.

"Read it to me?" He asks, and River bumps his nose with her own, kissing the bridge as she settles back down in his lap. The hand curled around his hip moves to rest on his shoulder and she uses it to keep her balanced, although his hands on her waist do a fantastic job on their own, and she thumbs open her diary to the first page.

"Nineteen thirty-eight. Berlin.."

**Author's Note:**

> Not sure if this is a one-shot or a possible series of one-shots. It's been a while since I wrote fanfic so any constructive criticism / reviews are encouraged and appreciated. You can prompt me in reviews, private messaging or on my Tumblr. The url is the same as my penname on ffnet and archiveofourown.


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